Monday, January 09, 2006

imaginary girl

I was on MySpace tonight, searching for former VCU classmates, and after finding nearly half-a-dozen, I realized that this was an exercise in futility as i am 99% positive that none of these people would have the slightest clue as to who i am. i believe I did a fairly successful job of being virtually invisible @ VCU. I wasn't loud, did nothing terribly remarkable, didn't socialize that much, and generally kept to the tech geeks who i could at least trust not to make fun of me to the larger group of theater students- the actors.

I was just never really willing to sell myself to the masses, to promote my own personality for popularity, which is kind of what i felt the actors were being groomed to do. and really, it was- because if you can't self-promote, you're never gonna move in that business. if you can't shamelessly self promote, or better yet- do it in that totally adorable self-depriciating sort of way that comes off as both shy, endearing, and modest all while being just attractive enough to cause your audience to desire more- thus getting you that meeting/interview/audition/larger audience.... well, then you prolly shouldn't bother being an actor.

which is what kept me backstage. well, part of it anyway. you'll really only ever get a part. i'll never let everyone into all the reasons that keep me from doing the things that i think i could enjoy if i tried. because if you knew everything, you'd never come back for more.

hey- i guess i did learn something from those actors.


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