Sunday, January 15, 2006
[insert delusional girl thought process here.] stupid girl. not only does that not happen, but he'll continue to use me until i catch on, because that's what i've basically given him license to do. and all the aloofness in the world can only mask the fact that i'm completely heartbroken over the fact that he doesn't want a relationship with me, and likely never will, because that's not what i'm there for.
i suppose it would help if my fwb actually lived in the area, or even came to visit me when he passes by on his way north of where i live. but, as recent events have shown, i am just not a priority to him it seems. not even for the really good sex.
and i'll admit, i got a little attached- a fact with probably only hastened his retreat. but i liked him. i liked his talent, his humor, and his cute face. and ok, yes- his piercings (an ampallang and a labret).
but admitting i had a crush was the first mistake. repetetively reminding him that i had a crush on him only made it worse. reading his blogs & comments he made on other blogs & flickr photos of other girls made it worse x 1,000,000. i never felt so physically desired and yet forcibly emotionally detached, at the same time.
so yeah. that whole *fwb* thing... not for me.