Monday, January 30, 2006

fortunate disappointment

i did not want to sleep alone tonight.

then again, i rarely want to sleep alone. i hate it. i got spoiled living with my ex who always would cradle my left ankle between his, his right arm under my head, and his left arm around my chest, holding me tight against him- like he was trying to pull me into him in his sleep. he kept me safe and warm.

my bed is too big now, and every night when a toe strays from the warm cocoon i've established, crossing over into a patch of cold sheet, it reminds me that i'm alone; but i guess i need to be. i need to get over him on my own, and replacement therapy isn't working. especially my most recent, most unreliable replacement.

i find him lacking. much like my bed is currently lacking it's occupant.


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