There are some things (admittedly) that I kind of want to keep (see aforementioned tank). When I asked him if he wanted his jerseys or letter jacket back, I asked if there was anything else he wanted, and he said no. To me I'm guessing that means gifts are not expected, but I feel a little weird keeping them since they are still things that remind me of our failure. There are also the things acquired while we were together, tickets to baseball games and theme parks, hotel keys, party beads, etc. And things that I'd purchased ahead of time to be given later, key covers for the keys to our first apartment and a Valentine's Day card for this year. What do I do with all of that?
This breakup has been drawn out for a long time on my end, but who knows how long ago he finished dealing with it. He'd told me that the reason he'd originally left all these clothes with me was so that i would continue to think of him while he was so far away, but now he isn't even asking why I don't want them anymore. It's not even a matter of not wanting them, but more like needing to let go of the dream, because waking up day after day to discover that it's not coming true is perpetual heartbreak.
With no signs of resolution on the horizon, it's time for me to finally stop mourning and move on. Eventually you've got to bury the corpse.
It still hurts, and I'm still amazed that it's over.